How can I overcome my fear?
12-13-2010, 10:33 AM
#31
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by Kre8iveKat
Maybe she has not fully understood all that went into making that quilt maybe when older she will fill bad for treating a piece of art the way she has done.
piney
12-13-2010, 10:38 AM
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 942
Originally Posted by JuneD
You know, a 17 year old may not appreciate the work that went into making the quilt, but I hate to say it, her mother or father should have. Especially if it was given to her by her grandmother. I am sorry for being so blunt, that's just my opinion.
I can understand your reluctance in making another quilt, but there is someone out there that would LOVE a handmade gift. (especially me!!!!! :-)
I can understand your reluctance in making another quilt, but there is someone out there that would LOVE a handmade gift. (especially me!!!!! :-)
12-13-2010, 10:53 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: California
Posts: 3,502
Don't let one incident sour giving for you. We've probably all had either lack-luster responses or mistreatment but then, you also get the ones like my grandson who loves his quilt.
I gave my sister a quilt probably 15 years ago and I saw it at her house recently on the couch. It looked old and worn and that shocked me for just a moment then I thought... it's been used! It is a simple Amish square-in-square and hand quilted. Maybe it's time to make her another one.
Just know that if that happens, you don't need to make that person a quilt again. Maybe you could ask for the quilt to clean it up and repair.
I gave my sister a quilt probably 15 years ago and I saw it at her house recently on the couch. It looked old and worn and that shocked me for just a moment then I thought... it's been used! It is a simple Amish square-in-square and hand quilted. Maybe it's time to make her another one.
Just know that if that happens, you don't need to make that person a quilt again. Maybe you could ask for the quilt to clean it up and repair.
12-13-2010, 10:57 AM
#35
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: England
Posts: 2,365
Originally Posted by sewingladydi
Make some smaller charity quilts for Project Linus or QFK.
Then imagine the comfort it will give a small child who is ill. That should help comfort your heart
Then imagine the comfort it will give a small child who is ill. That should help comfort your heart
12-13-2010, 10:58 AM
#36
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: near San Antonio
Posts: 138
I can't believe your GD would treat such a beautiful quilt that way! There are still a number of quilts in my family from my great grandmother, and while they are in need of a little repair, every one of them is loved, cherished, and used in the manner it was meant for every winter.
I remember though, before I started quilting, my aunt gave me a quilted pot holder for Christmas the first year I was married. I was quite dissappointed, because it seemed like there wasn't much thought or effort that went into the gift. Now, I'm finishing up placemats and such for my own family and I know exactly how much work goes into such a thing. And that potholder that I didn't appreciate much on opening now gets used in my kitchen at least twice a week!
I think a little education is the key to proper appreciation. Invite your GD or even your grandson's fiancee over for some girls time while you're working on basting a quilt sometime. (I always found that to be the hardest part of making a quilt.) Maybe if they see the amount of care that goes into the creation, they would appreciate the thought just a little more. And I would definately say something, not only to your GD, but to her parents as well, about how seeing the quilt you made so disregarded made you feel. You can say that once you gift it its no longer yours all you want, but its always easier to say that when it's not family you've gifted it to. If nothing else, they should care about you enough to treat things you gave them properly. I'm sorry if that's a little coarse, but it's true.
If you feel that your grandson's fiancee would appreciate it, make her a quilt. When you give it to her, you can let her know it's a welcome to the family gift. Don't let one person's thoughtless actions rule what you do for the rest of your life.
Sloan
P.S. I've noticed the boys tend to be closer to their grandmothers than girls are many times, so maybe your grandson would be a good influence in making sure your gift would be taken care of too!
I remember though, before I started quilting, my aunt gave me a quilted pot holder for Christmas the first year I was married. I was quite dissappointed, because it seemed like there wasn't much thought or effort that went into the gift. Now, I'm finishing up placemats and such for my own family and I know exactly how much work goes into such a thing. And that potholder that I didn't appreciate much on opening now gets used in my kitchen at least twice a week!
I think a little education is the key to proper appreciation. Invite your GD or even your grandson's fiancee over for some girls time while you're working on basting a quilt sometime. (I always found that to be the hardest part of making a quilt.) Maybe if they see the amount of care that goes into the creation, they would appreciate the thought just a little more. And I would definately say something, not only to your GD, but to her parents as well, about how seeing the quilt you made so disregarded made you feel. You can say that once you gift it its no longer yours all you want, but its always easier to say that when it's not family you've gifted it to. If nothing else, they should care about you enough to treat things you gave them properly. I'm sorry if that's a little coarse, but it's true.
If you feel that your grandson's fiancee would appreciate it, make her a quilt. When you give it to her, you can let her know it's a welcome to the family gift. Don't let one person's thoughtless actions rule what you do for the rest of your life.
Sloan
P.S. I've noticed the boys tend to be closer to their grandmothers than girls are many times, so maybe your grandson would be a good influence in making sure your gift would be taken care of too!
12-13-2010, 12:31 PM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Woodhaven, Michigan
Posts: 1,981
Being a quilter, I understand the amount of work & $$ that goes into a quilt.
But to give a gift with conditions (if you don't want it, give it back)or to specify how much it costs, doesn't seem to be in the spirit of truly giving. Seem more like a negotiation.
Kids (teens) do foolish, selfish things, but mostly due to ignorance and the self-centeredness that comes with youth.
But to give a gift with conditions (if you don't want it, give it back)or to specify how much it costs, doesn't seem to be in the spirit of truly giving. Seem more like a negotiation.
Kids (teens) do foolish, selfish things, but mostly due to ignorance and the self-centeredness that comes with youth.
12-13-2010, 12:54 PM
#39
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 841
Originally Posted by bearisgray
Originally Posted by dglvr
That quilt you made was beautifal. This happened to me too.
I spent alot of time and money on a quilt for a friend having a baby and she said she wanted it for the wall. I even put the hangers on it.
They left for awhile so I took care of their dogs and went to see how the quilt looked. To my shocking suprise it was in the crib with stains and yukkie stuff all over it. I must say a tear or 2 fell that day. I was so upset. I took a picture of it to show a freind. I had to delete it after that because everytime I seen the picture it was a painful reminder. I try to remember the "once you give it away its no longer yours". She was at my house one day and noticed a quilt I had done and mentioned that would look so nice on her bed. Like hint hint please make that for me. All I could do was laugh. I was suprised I kept my mouth shut. It took me awhile to make another quilt to give away but had to remember someone else would hopefully cherish a quilt I made. I've made several other quilts for babies now but use only panels and stuff that I know will be used in a crib.
It is so frustrating like finding something you took the time and money and heart to make for someone and finding it in their yard sale for $1.
Don't give up. You do beautifal work. If you want to make me that quilt it will be cherished. :thumbup:
I spent alot of time and money on a quilt for a friend having a baby and she said she wanted it for the wall. I even put the hangers on it.
They left for awhile so I took care of their dogs and went to see how the quilt looked. To my shocking suprise it was in the crib with stains and yukkie stuff all over it. I must say a tear or 2 fell that day. I was so upset. I took a picture of it to show a freind. I had to delete it after that because everytime I seen the picture it was a painful reminder. I try to remember the "once you give it away its no longer yours". She was at my house one day and noticed a quilt I had done and mentioned that would look so nice on her bed. Like hint hint please make that for me. All I could do was laugh. I was suprised I kept my mouth shut. It took me awhile to make another quilt to give away but had to remember someone else would hopefully cherish a quilt I made. I've made several other quilts for babies now but use only panels and stuff that I know will be used in a crib.
It is so frustrating like finding something you took the time and money and heart to make for someone and finding it in their yard sale for $1.
Don't give up. You do beautifal work. If you want to make me that quilt it will be cherished. :thumbup:
If I had found it in the dog's bed, then I would have been po'd.
12-13-2010, 01:00 PM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 514
I know how heart breaking it is to have something you spent hours on mistreated. But I agree with those here who say, once given it is the recipients to treat as they will. That being said, if I note that a gift of mine that took hours and hours to make is not appreciated, I know that I shouldn't spend that amount of time on something for that person again and consider it lesson learned.
Your granddaughter may not have truly understood the love that went into the quilt. I know I have a quilt that one grandmother pieced and my other grandmother hand quilted. When I received it my youngest wanted it for his bed (only about 4 at the time). I was very clear on how important and special the quilt was and that he could use it only if he was very respectful of it. He is now 17 and it is one of his most prized possessions.
Your granddaughter may not have truly understood the love that went into the quilt. I know I have a quilt that one grandmother pieced and my other grandmother hand quilted. When I received it my youngest wanted it for his bed (only about 4 at the time). I was very clear on how important and special the quilt was and that he could use it only if he was very respectful of it. He is now 17 and it is one of his most prized possessions.
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