How would you have responded?
#161
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Rice Lake, WI
Posts: 489
Originally Posted by DebbyT
It may be a bit harsh but if all else fails, tell her "I value your friendship and won't make any more excuses, but if you want a copy you will have to pay for it like I did. I respected the copyright, and expect you to as well. If you plan to get this as a freebe, please stop planning. I won't assist one friend to take from another." A mutual aquaintance can become a friend when they respect each others values. Otherwise she remains a mutual aquaintance.
#163
Hello She Quilts - yes, it is a like what we called "telegraph" or "telephone a woman". Your original post did not always show up and I'm sure there were those who were just answering without having seen it all.
Please don't take it personal - it was intersting to see the many replies. You brought a for-real problem out into the quilty world, and and most of us said we would do the right thing. However, if it were a friend and not just an acqauintance, I think we would be a little more flexible because we share other things and we kind of know the financial situation of our close friends.
It's really not our busineness what you do - but the question as thrown out was a good one.
Please don't take it personal - it was intersting to see the many replies. You brought a for-real problem out into the quilty world, and and most of us said we would do the right thing. However, if it were a friend and not just an acqauintance, I think we would be a little more flexible because we share other things and we kind of know the financial situation of our close friends.
It's really not our busineness what you do - but the question as thrown out was a good one.
#164
[quote=sewbizgirl]You only delayed the inevitable by making excuses as to why "today" wasn't a good time. That also leads her to believe you are open to sharing it, 'at a more convenient time.'
This is what I felt also and just didn't put all the right words in my response to you. From the getgo you knew you wouldn't share the pattern with her because of copyright law and yet instead of standing your ground you allowed the situation to go on till a later date when you could have just nicely but firmly ended it....I don't like confrontation either but I'm one of those older persons that have learned not to drag things on and on because I don't have time (my time is valuable also) for that kind of nonsense or whatever adjective you choose to use in this case.
Life is just to short....
This is what I felt also and just didn't put all the right words in my response to you. From the getgo you knew you wouldn't share the pattern with her because of copyright law and yet instead of standing your ground you allowed the situation to go on till a later date when you could have just nicely but firmly ended it....I don't like confrontation either but I'm one of those older persons that have learned not to drag things on and on because I don't have time (my time is valuable also) for that kind of nonsense or whatever adjective you choose to use in this case.
Life is just to short....
#167
Originally Posted by Alexa
I am a musician as well as a quilter and this is one area my two worlds overlap. This is a teaching moment. See if you can get her to understand that the designer put lots of time and effort into producing that design and it is really unfair for anyone to give it away for free. It is hard enough for independent designers (or musicians for that matter) to make enough money back on their work to make it worthwhile to continue. And without these independents our world would be less joyful, creative, inspiring, and free.
So, how did the conversation go?
#169
Well, she dropped by. I was anxious to see if, or when, she even brought up the subject. If she did, there was going to be a short answer.
The first thing out of her mouth was, "can I see your patterns?" We headed off to my studio and she began looking through my books and fabrics. She then said, "I've always wanted to learn how to applique."
Opportunity!!!! I directed her to the file where I store my BOMs.. I said, "there are lots of quilts made from the patterns in these books, but not so many of these... (BOMs.) They're expensive, so they're relatively limited.
I'll teach you to applique and to pick your fabrics, but you must purchase your own pattern. They're copyright protected, so you'll need your own. Besides, it will take a good while to make the quilt. You'll refer to it often."
She had the pattern in question, in her hand, as she looked up at me. It looked as if a light had just turned on in her head.
She paused for a second and then said, "That's a good deal, I'll take it."
I didn't embarass her or challenge her integrity, she got the message and will soon own her very own copy. She left happily believing she would soon be part of a select group.
I feel much better now that this is over. The relationship is saved, both friends are whole.
Thanks to everyone for the interesting comments. This was fun!
The first thing out of her mouth was, "can I see your patterns?" We headed off to my studio and she began looking through my books and fabrics. She then said, "I've always wanted to learn how to applique."
Opportunity!!!! I directed her to the file where I store my BOMs.. I said, "there are lots of quilts made from the patterns in these books, but not so many of these... (BOMs.) They're expensive, so they're relatively limited.
I'll teach you to applique and to pick your fabrics, but you must purchase your own pattern. They're copyright protected, so you'll need your own. Besides, it will take a good while to make the quilt. You'll refer to it often."
She had the pattern in question, in her hand, as she looked up at me. It looked as if a light had just turned on in her head.
She paused for a second and then said, "That's a good deal, I'll take it."
I didn't embarass her or challenge her integrity, she got the message and will soon own her very own copy. She left happily believing she would soon be part of a select group.
I feel much better now that this is over. The relationship is saved, both friends are whole.
Thanks to everyone for the interesting comments. This was fun!
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