I lied to my husband
05-09-2012, 02:49 PM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Duluth/ Superior, WI
Posts: 1,038
I have my own account and we also have a household account, so if I would like to purchase something there is no reason for permission to be granted, I just go get it. My husband has the same option. If the money is needed for household expenses it would be used for that first. Does he tell you what he spends every dollar on? Is this a control issue for him or are you just worried about rocking the boat? Is this money you could not afford to spend? Either way, you have to figure out if $29.00 is worth a big fight or if you can live with the decision you made to purchase the Quiltcut and not have to answer to anyone for spending your money.
05-09-2012, 02:50 PM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 1,909
I wouldn't have out and out lied, but I sure wouldn't have volunteered any info, either...especially if I knew this was how he'd react. This is a good argument for separate checking accounts...then you don't HAVE to explain yourself!
Good luck!
Good luck!
05-09-2012, 02:52 PM
#34
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,400
So what else is going on in your life?
For those that really jumped on her - have you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS told the truth, the complete truth, and nothing but the truth?
There are times when saying nothing is the best way to go. Especially when telling the truth would do more harm than good.
For those that really jumped on her - have you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS told the truth, the complete truth, and nothing but the truth?
There are times when saying nothing is the best way to go. Especially when telling the truth would do more harm than good.
05-09-2012, 03:01 PM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,269
Originally Posted by SUZAG
Does he have any hobbies and/or tools that he buys? Do you question the price? Does he always ask you before he buys?
This argument is a lot like casting the blame on him for her spending money out of her own account.
Is this how your house is? I know mine isn't, my husband has his "tools" and I have mine. We discuss what we need then save for it. It's always been this way. No asking if I can have something. Or you got this and I now want something of equal value. LOL
I find it amusing how some of you are acting like you condone such behavior.
05-09-2012, 03:37 PM
#36
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mableton, GA
Posts: 11,201
Originally Posted by sahm4605
I am sorry to bring this bug into the room but you said that its your money and he thinks that it is both of yours. Maybe its time to set up one bank account. I have found that having two accounts can damage a relationship. I and the rest of us don't know the home or financial situation, but maybe its time for the two of you to sit down and have a very frank and loving discussion about your marriage and about the finances and bank accounts. When my hubby and I married our concealer said that no matter who makes the money it is always best to talk about how it is going to be spent and have only one account to keep both parties from feeling like the other has more power or more control in the relationship. and if you think about it when you get married two become one and everything is shared. money, chores, love, work. if you have a "safety net" as one lady in a good relationship but ready to bolt at a moments notice said that she needed to have her safety net to help her if her relationship failed. I told her that unless it was an abusive relationship where he verbably or physically hurt her then maybe she was hoping that it would fail. anyhoo I digress. I say talk to your hubby, not specifically about the purchase but about the separation of the money. and why you feel that it is just your money and not his too. hope this helps.
05-09-2012, 03:44 PM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Pole
Posts: 1,643
Call me a bitter divorcee, but my attitude is that if I spent MY money it is none of his business...NOONE tells me what I can or cannot do, even when I was married. He never cleared it with me when he spent money..He might not have spent such a large amount, but he spenmt enough smaller ones tp add up to more than I spent
05-09-2012, 04:09 PM
#39
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,400
I can relate - sometimes one is disappointed in oneself for not doing/being as good as one knows one should be.
I still feel bad about an incident where I allowed myself to be talked into doing something that I 'knew' wasn't quite right - and the $ amount was about $2.00. And this happened about 40 years ago!!
I made restitution, apologized, etc. I also learned to NOT trust a couple of people that I thought I could.
I still feel bad about an incident where I allowed myself to be talked into doing something that I 'knew' wasn't quite right - and the $ amount was about $2.00. And this happened about 40 years ago!!
I made restitution, apologized, etc. I also learned to NOT trust a couple of people that I thought I could.
Last edited by bearisgray; 05-09-2012 at 04:14 PM.
05-09-2012, 04:14 PM
#40
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,165
I worked, have my own accounts and spent what I earned on what I wanted. He finally realized that I was the one responsible for all the technology, computers, cameras, etc. in the house - not to mention my telescopes and eyepieces that he enjoys as much as I do. He also realized that I don't buy fancy household stuff, designer sweatshirts, etc. I MAKE them.
Neither one of us cares about style - if the ARC has what we want - we'll buy it there. I like my truck. I don't want a new truck. We'd rather save and spend on a nice trip to Red Rock country for scenery and stargazing. I've played with some of the things mentioned here and don't care for the articles for me.
He leaves my sewing stuff alone but he thinks I can fix anything. I worked for my sewing machines and sergers.
Neither one of us cares about style - if the ARC has what we want - we'll buy it there. I like my truck. I don't want a new truck. We'd rather save and spend on a nice trip to Red Rock country for scenery and stargazing. I've played with some of the things mentioned here and don't care for the articles for me.
He leaves my sewing stuff alone but he thinks I can fix anything. I worked for my sewing machines and sergers.
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