QuiltE

Not necessarily anymore .... each municipality has different sort rules re garbage, recycle, compost etc.
The sorting at my home is totally different than at my friends, only a few kilometres away.
Some of what they compost, I cannot.
Some of what I compost, they cannot.
I have a 2-way recycle sort ... they have a 3-way.

No longer is garbage .......... garbage!!!

It's not quite so black and white.

Country1

I say be thankful you still have a DMIL. Mine lived in a MIL apartment in our basement until we lost her in '08. We loved being able to see her whenever we wanted. We often took meals down and had them with her in the family room/ wet bar area down there. She would come up sometimes when her mobility would allow. I miss her very much and would love to be able to do such a small thing as to put her glass in the sink or dishwasher!
I am in no way dogging you, there may be more to the story, but if you to get along, enjoy every minute you can!
You may find yourself in the future picking up a glass and it may bring sweet memories of her or your chats back.
Life is way to short to worry over the little things!...
Penny

coopah

I am now visiting with my son and DIL (but not staying in their home). We only get to see them in the evenings as they both work. Last night we had tea and I left the cup on the table. So I'm now on the bad list? Geeze Louise, I'll have to ask!! Basically, I try not to ever interfere, send the same emails to both, include her always, always, always in everything. At least you live close enough for MIL to visit. We just want the best for our sons. We did raise them, you know and have the same love for them that your mother has for you. And sometimes we feel left out...so her visiting and leaving stuff on the table shouldn't be a big deal. One day you will be wishing for these days back. IMHO

mjhaess

Just pick it up...She may not realize she is even doing it..or that it upsets you..

misseva

It wouldn't matter to me. I had a WONDERFUL mother in law. In fact I loved all my in-laws. I was an only child and my sisters-in-law & BIL were like family to me. My FIL was very close to being a saint - died at 62. My MIL never gave me any advise that I didn't ask for. My mom, on the other hand, always liked to tell me what/how to do things.

littlebitoheaven

We have lovely friends who make it very clear that THEY want to clear the dishes and they are very particular about where the "dirty" dishes are stacked. If, by chance, your MIL has friends like ours, she may just believe that leaving her glass on the table is a safe bet. Remember, "You can please some of the people some of the time but you cannot please all of the people all of the time!"

Caswews

OH man do I understand the domineering MIL(she is a piece of work for sure!LOL)-I always turn that around and make it sweet .. LOL
The glass? just put it in the sink, dishwasher or whatever.. maybe she is unsure of what to do with the glass, have you asked her if she wanted more water in her glass ? If not I'll put it in the dishwasher. Maybe that would work for you ..

Best I can say to you is pick your battles wisely- I learned from saying anything about DH's sister in law to anyone (another piece of work !LOL). Sounds like you just need to be the hostess with the politest and pleasant personality to your MIL. Just let lying dogs lie and let it go no matter what is said or done when she visits. Believe me I am truly learning this lesson in life as well.

We are all unique, from different eras as far as manners and mannerisms.

Chasing Hawk

Our guests are treated as such. No one does the dishes but me, because if I didn't do them then they aren't clean enough for me...lol A long time ago a friend from Kansas came out to visit. She insisted on doing the dishes after supper. She is an elderly lady and I was raised to respect my elders and don't sass them...lol So I had to sit there helpless and watch...LOL After she left to go back to our Son's house, I redid all the dishes.

It is usually family who shows up, they keep the guest room (now the annex) picked up, they have full use of the washer/dryer and their own bathroom. All I ask of them is to put the used dishes in the sink, put their trash in the garbage and have fun and relax.

romanojg

When I go to someone's house I do pick up my dishes just like when I go out to eat I stack my plates in the center of the table to make it easier on the waitress and I always push my chair in (my biggest pet peeve is to have chairs left out). It's not a matter of being raised like this, its just what I do and the way Ive taught my kids, not that they all follow now that they are grown. I don't worry if people leave their cups out. My kids come over with thier kids, some times with fast food and they normally leave it where they sit when they leave. If I have them over for dinner they rarely ever offer to help clean up, non of this stuff is how they were raised. Recently I was at my daughters for dinner and she made a comment at how I always do dishes at her house so she wasn't worried about how many dirty dishes there were. I told her hadn't she noticed that I quit doing dishes at her house because she never did them when I cooked. She laughed and never said a word. I pick my battles, that is the one rule that I've learned with having 5 kids, if you make everything a battle then you'll win none. I can understand your frustration but it isn't worth the stress. I hate when I go to work with a clean house and my kids come over while I'm at work with thier kids and I come home to a mess. Thats life and we can find lots of things to get upset about. It's hard to let go of the little stuff but its not worth the stress. I chose to count the blessings and try to ignore the things that upset me, I don't always succeed but I try.

Jingle

It would not be a problem for me. Just put it wherever you want it after she or anyone else leaves. Trash can be put into the trash can or wherever you keep it. After raising kids and having Grandkids around I couldn't do any other way. I am thankful I can still do things for myself and others.