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Thread: How would you have responded?

  1. #101
    Super Member ksea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shequilts
    A close friend of mine designed and copyrighted a beautiful 12 Days of Christmas BOM. I participated and gladly paid the monthly fee. Like so many exceptional BOMs, it wasn't cheap!
    Tonight, a mutual acquaintance of both the designer and me, called to ask if I had made the BOM. I responded that I had. She immediately said, "Oh goody, I'll have to get a copy. It's too expensive to buy."
    I was floored! I said, "You know it's copyrighted." She did not back up one inch. She proceeded to try to make a date to come by and get the pattern. I literally made up every excuse in the world why not this week. I have no intention of giving it to her, but don't want a confrontation. I just keep hoping she'll forget about it if I make it inconvenient for her.
    I'm so annoyed about this. I know what I'm going to do and I'll end up having to end this relationship.
    What would you have done?
    You know what, you explained the law to her and if she insists that you do something illegal then how good of a friend is she anyway. You did the right thing and i'm not sure that i understand the whole "I don't want a confrontation" either, you told her no and explained why so that should be end of story!!

  2. #102
    Senior Member Jamiestitcher62's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    "you mean it's too expensive for YOU to buy, but it's not too expensive for ME to buy?"
    Since when it is OK for someone else to dip into your wallet to get THEIR goodies? Tell her "H!LL NO!"

    And BTW, some people don't understand anything less than a confrontation.
    Ummmm, have you seen what our Country has done with entitlements? There's your explanation for why they think it's ok. Same old, same old.

  3. #103
    Super Member plainjane's Avatar
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    What a MOOCHER! If she could see herself as we see her, she should be ashamed.

  4. #104
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    Yes, I've seen what the country has done with entitlements. Paid me a grand total of $480 a month in Social Security, $96 a month taken out for Medicare, and helped to pay the medical bills of my Alzheimers patient husband. Awful!

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by shequilts
    A close friend of mine designed and copyrighted a beautiful 12 Days of Christmas BOM. I participated and gladly paid the monthly fee. Like so many exceptional BOMs, it wasn't cheap!
    Tonight, a mutual acquaintance of both the designer and me, called to ask if I had made the BOM. I responded that I had. She immediately said, "Oh goody, I'll have to get a copy. It's too expensive to buy."
    I was floored! I said, "You know it's copyrighted." She did not back up one inch. She proceeded to try to make a date to come by and get the pattern. I literally made up every excuse in the world why not this week. I have no intention of giving it to her, but don't want a confrontation. I just keep hoping she'll forget about it if I make it inconvenient for her.
    I'm so annoyed about this. I know what I'm going to do and I'll end up having to end this relationship.
    What would you have done?
    I would try to be honest, non-confrontational, non-judgemental, and firm that she's not getting the pattern from me... I would call HER and say 'Just wanted you to know I checked with Mrs. Designer, we're close friends you know and I can ask her anything, and she said I can't give you my pattern. I purchased it for my use only. Sorry. Here is her number if you want to call her yourself."

  6. #106
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Be sure and post the outcome. I'm nosy and will wonder how it turns out. Remember we are all on your side.

  7. #107
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    I find it hard myself to say 'no' sometimes, tell her you can't find it or when you cleaned up your sewing room it must have gotten thrown out with the trash. I know that is lying but sometimes you have to, so hide the pattern somewhere incase she shows up at your place. You think she would have taken the direct hint.

  8. #108
    Power Poster sewbizgirl's Avatar
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    You only delayed the inevitable by making excuses as to why "today" wasn't a good time. That also leads her to believe you are open to sharing it, 'at a more convenient time.' You need to tell her you can't share it for two reasons: 1)It's copyrighted, and 2)You paid for it. She will have to buy it if she really wants it.

    Many people like that would never end up making the quilt anyway, they just want to hoard up whatever patterns they think they can get for free.

  9. #109
    Power Poster sewbizgirl's Avatar
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    By the way, copyright of a written pattern is automatic. You don't have to go register anything... it just belongs to the person who first printed it. So everything is copyrighted, and can't be copied unless the author gives permission. Most patterns have the allowable usage spelled out at the end of the pattern (the fine print), at the discretion of the author.

  10. #110
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    You already explained it to her. Which is what I would have done. I would not have backed down. You are dishonoring the copyright and the creator by letting this person copy yours. What will she insist on next, a kidney?

  11. #111
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    I want to know how this turns out. Every detail, if you please...

  12. #112
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    I found this thread to be very interesting as I have run in to the same situation on more than 1 occasion. First of all I would definitely not lie to her about why I don't want to give her a copy. When you are doing the right thing there should be no reason to feel you have to lie about it. Was this originally offered as a block of the month where each person just paid for that month's pattern? If so, what you might want to do is suggest she contact the designer to see if she can also buy it one month at a time. That way the designer still gets paid, but it wouldn't be such a huge outlay at once for the other person.

  13. #113
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    [/quote]... However, why is it okay then to sell it to somebody else to use AFTER you have used it? It doesn't give the creator any more money, it just basically gives you, the user, a free pattern. Just one of those things that makes you go, hmmmmm.[/quote]

    Gina, it is perfectly legal to sell your copy of a book, pattern, etc. so long as you do not make a photocopy of it first. It is the reproduction of the original copy that is a violation of copyright law. Very rarely will you ever see the patterns being sold for what the original purchaser paid for it so they really wouldn't be getting a free pattern. The exceptions to this is when a popular book goes out of print and people are willing ("foolish") enough to spend way more than the book is worth to buy a copy that comes up for sale through EBay, etc.

  14. #114

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    Quote Originally Posted by rslindiana
    Quote Originally Posted by shequilts
    A close friend of mine designed and copyrighted a beautiful 12 Days of Christmas BOM. I participated and gladly paid the monthly fee. Like so many exceptional BOMs, it wasn't cheap!
    Tonight, a mutual acquaintance of both the designer and me, called to ask if I had made the BOM. I responded that I had. She immediately said, "Oh goody, I'll have to get a copy. It's too expensive to buy."
    I was floored! I said, "You know it's copyrighted." She did not back up one inch. She proceeded to try to make a date to come by and get the pattern. I literally made up every excuse in the world why not this week. I have no intention of giving it to her, but don't want a confrontation. I just keep hoping she'll forget about it if I make it inconvenient for her.
    I'm so annoyed about this. I know what I'm going to do and I'll end up having to end this relationship.
    What would you have done?
    I would try to be honest, non-confrontational, non-judgemental, and firm that she's not getting the pattern from me... I would call HER and say 'Just wanted you to know I checked with Mrs. Designer, we're close friends you know and I can ask her anything, and she said I can't give you my pattern. I purchased it for my use only. Sorry. Here is her number if you want to call her yourself."
    OOOOOO! This is a really good one! :-)

  15. #115
    Super Member QuiltnCowgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janet Espeleta
    First of all I would definitely not lie to her about why I don't want to give her a copy. When you are doing the right thing there should be no reason to feel you have to lie about it.
    I agree 100,000,000 times over. Why are we, the honest ones, feeling like we have to hem haw around, beat around the bush, & tell white lies? Old fashioned honesty is getting lost in our society, when what we should be able to do is openly hold people accountable.

    Stand up for what you believe in. Tell the friend 'No' with a blunt, to the point, explanation. If this "friend" doesn't like it, that is her problem. You will feel better at the end of the day knowing you did what was right & upstanding.

  16. #116
    Senior Member neeng's Avatar
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    Amen.

    Quote Originally Posted by PiecesinMn
    Thank her for the complement of appreciating your quilt so much that she would like to make one of her own. Tell her that you appreciate the value of your other friends creativety and feel that it is wrong to make a copy of a pattern for one friend at the expense of another. You are being true to both friends and if she takes offense at your words and non action that's her choice.

  17. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltnCowgirl
    Quote Originally Posted by Janet Espeleta
    First of all I would definitely not lie to her about why I don't want to give her a copy. When you are doing the right thing there should be no reason to feel you have to lie about it.
    I agree 100,000,000 times over. Why are we, the honest ones, feeling like we have to hem haw around, beat around the bush, & tell white lies? Old fashioned honesty is getting lost in our society, when what we should be able to do is openly hold people accountable.

    Stand up for what you believe in. Tell the friend 'No' with a blunt, to the point, explanation. If this "friend" doesn't like it, that is her problem. You will feel better at the end of the day knowing you did what was right & upstanding.
    The problem is that when we state what our values are - we frequently come across as saying they are LACKING in values. That may be or not - sometimes it's just different values - but unless we explain what we are basing our (values) decision on then we haven't created common ground for dialogue. And sadly, in this day and age, I am too stressed, too busy and too tired to explain why I do what I do. So I shorthand it - and some times end up hurting feelings. The "don't buy what you can borrow" philosophy is being touted everywhere as smart and frugal - and it has created a lot of rudeness and some hard feelings when I say 'No."

  18. #118
    Senior Member ajohn52's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryStoaks
    Be straight forward with her. Tell her exactly why you won't share--- it's the right thing.
    Ditto. ....and its against the LAW!!! Both you and she could be sued!! Tell her you can't share for fear of being sued by the designer. Or if she can get permission from the designer, then you can share it with her.

  19. #119
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    I had a guild member ask to borrow one of my quilt computer programs in front of the whole guild. Talk about being on the spot to be nice and firm at the same time. I didn't want to make her look foolish for not knowing, if she didn't, about copyrights. I said the program has a license key I had to buy to use it so it only works on my computer. You'll have to buy your own copy to get the license key that will work on your computer. The member sitting next to me said I was wondering how you would handle that. She's always mooching.

  20. #120
    Super Member bjnicholson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaciqltznok
    You have to SPELL It out to some people. Simply say, that YOUR copy is not up for sale that she will have to buy her own!
    Good answer

  21. #121
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    My sister-in-law does this to me, fortunately she lives an hour away and I just never have the pattern when we're together so eventually she forgets about it.

    But, copyright aside, when people create designs they are entitled to be rewarded for their creativity, and protected against "poachers" for their efforts. It irks me that people put so little value on someone else's accomplishment and their deserved right to reap a benefit from it.

    Right up there with kids who expect an inheritance. I tell my son we did not work hard all our lives to leave our money to him - we plan to spend it all!!

  22. #122

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    Just say, "No." No excuses, no rationalization. You could say, "Yes, please do come over for a cup of tea/coffee. I'd like for you to visit, but I am not sharing the pattern." [amen] [end of conversation]

  23. #123
    community benefactor p38flygirl's Avatar
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    I agree...A copyright is a copyright...You would be breaking the law and you would be cheating your friend out of hard earned money...

  24. #124
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    No is a perfectly good answer. Some people just don't believe it when they hear it. So next time, tell her No with a smile. (If that doesn't work, you could opt for "cheap-a** b**** but that's not very ladylike. lol)

  25. #125
    Junior Member aggie's Avatar
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    Just a question. Is it all right to sell her the pattern? Would that be breaking the copyright law?

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